How I Might Have Written It (spoilers)

They weren't even on Naboo then. The order of scenes was this:

1. Ani and Padme leaving Coruscant, Obi-Wan bidding them goodbye. 2. Obi-Wan dines at Dex's 3. Obi-Wan in the library 4. Ani and Padme over dinner in the slum ship 5. Obi-Wan tells Yoda and the younglings he lost a planet.

That scene didn't break up anything.

Then modern screenwriting technique is a pile of dingo's kidneys ... sorry, wrong universe. Anyway, the point is that this is a motion picture, not a prime-time TV show, and it is not necessary to break up scenes. Shakespeare did not have action going on two stages, side-by-side, and ask the audience to switch attention every 90 seconds just for the hell of it.

(Now I will be flamed for a fleeting simile between Shakespeare and SW

I was speaking of how I would *change* parts of the story. In the alternate version sugested by me, the Jedi Council encourages Padme to leave Coruscant under the protection of Anakin, and Anakin's personal mission (without reference to the Jedi Council) is on Tatooine, not Naboo.

I maintain that the scale was wrong, that the crowding of so many LARGE ships onto the screen in that area made it look two-dimensional and cartoon-like. I have seen it three times and whilst I appreciate the meaning of the scene and the design of the ships, etc, I do not feel that it was well-presented on the screen (Jimmy Smits' rueful expression

I liked your alternate version. Not all of it was *necessary* to change (as I liked AOTC as is), but I loved your idea of getting Obi Wan from Dex's to Yoda quickly - maybe intercut with Anakin telling Padme about going to Tatooine (I see it like 'The Council wanted me to take you somewhere safe - I'll take you home to my mom...' then lead into the two 'detective/mystery' stories: 1. Search for Anakin's mom (which would really be a great way to introduce the love story - great idea!) 2. Obi Wan prowls around Kamino checking out their clones

Everybody ends up where they need to be anyway!

Good ideas there...now get Lucas to let you write EP3! ;o))

Scott

Nah, then *I* would be the one receiving the flames in the first week after it was released - there's no pleasing the 'fans'